i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You are the jesus of drinking
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
