dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
