We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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