is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
