dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
The air taste purple.
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