So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
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