i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Ketchup is God's man juice
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
