Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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