oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
