I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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