She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
