Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
