lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
