The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
