we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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