Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
