I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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