You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize