I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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