Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
