if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
