There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
