This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
