my mouth tastes like poor choices
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
No subtext here. People are naked.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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