i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
