Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
