she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
