Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
