it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
