glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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