that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
sex in a hospital.. check
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
