p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize