smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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