I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
