Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize