Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
