the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
