I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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