All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The power of my boobs compel you
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
