And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
