i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize