whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
