you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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