Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
