I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize