Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
