i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize