Pregnant stripper...not hot.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
