A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
