i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
