hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
