This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
