They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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