dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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