I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
