He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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